I lit a candle for you today
And watched the wax
Curl embryonically
And melt into riverlets
Of wasted moments
Without you.
I took a pen to paper for you then
And breathed the ink
Quite deliberately
On to white virgin paper
Turning into poems
About you.
I let slip a sigh for you today
My heart being heavy
In its emptiness
Crushed in its absence of you
Yet not able to
Forget you.
And were you to come to me today
You’d see my heart
Beat uncontrollably
And my eyes, surrendering hurt
In unabated love
Behold you.
I lit a candle for you today
And blew the flame
Glow incandescently
Out into the cold night air
To take this hearts prayer
To touch you.
I lit a candle for you today.
Katheryn Hope
11.02.09
Katheryn Hope
Wednesday, 4 March 2009
Saturday, 14 February 2009
Another Way
I walk the path of my life and my journey takes me to many different places and many different experiences. I arrive here in this beautiful home surrounded by a sense of abundance for which I am very grateful. It is strange to come to the present moment of being here because, in so doing, I find myself contemplating what brought me here. Paths have stretched before me and I have chosen, generally from a feeling, and sometimes from a motivation that in taking a certain route it would take me away from my burdens or issues.
As I sit here in this home, for all its comfort and sense of security, it is not absent of my problems. They came with me. The people who lived here before me did not have these same problems and so the house did not contain them when I arrived. This was a great relief for me and I experienced a lightness when I moved in. Then, as I settled down in my new home, in they moved with me. So, as I sit here now, I am faced with their presence and, perhaps even more obviously, since I had hoped to leave them behind. When I first realised that they had come with me I felt fear. I experienced anxiety and tension and my sleep was disturbed. Then, because I realised that they were not going anywhere, I looked at them head on.
"I had hoped some magic wand would remove you. I'd hoped someone or something else would take you on," I said, "I didn't want to take responsibility for you. It felt too painful, too huge, too overwhelming on top of everything else." I sat down and looked and there they sat stolid and immoveable gazing back at me implacably. "I had hoped," I continued, "That life would see that you were a mistake; that you happened because I wasn't thinking ahead as a kind of by-product of my actions and thoughts at the time. I thought life would realise that you weren't intended and because you weren't intended life would remove you for me. I hoped that if I avoided you, looked elsewhere, distracted myself and carried on regardless, you'd disappear." They did not respond.
"Now I look at you it is not so easy to admit that in all my wisdom I still managed to create this situation." I continued, and this came as a deep realisation for me. For here, present in my home, I became aware that I, personally, had created these problems and issues. They were not the fault of anyone else. They were mine. This was my creation in my life. It was as real as the walls that surrounded me.
I looked with a new perspective upon my creation and it looked back. Somehow, in this exchange, arose a new sense of respect. "I see that you aren't going anywhere." I said, "And, in fact, my avoidance of you has only made you bigger." I realised that in trying to pretend it did not exist only caused it to grow and take root in it's endeavour to be acknowledged. "I acknowledge you, " I said softly, "And I take responsibility."
Somewhere, in the solid form of what felt like my burden before me, flickered a movement. "I am deeply grateful," I continued, "Deeply grateful for everything you've allowed me to accomplish. I appreciate everything you have given me and my family. I see how you have benefited me and I thank you. I see how avoiding you does not allow me to grow or move on and that acknowledging your existence, however painful that is, is the truth."
I watched as the block that sat before me so impenetrably seemed to be looking back at me and the attention was creating a new energy between us. "I don't find you easy," I spoke gently, "I need to tell you that I have felt stuck. I only avoided you because I didn't know any other way. I suppose I hoped that in denying you, you'd just go away and everything would be O.K. I am sorry. I realise that this was just being naive and deceiving myself."
Some exchange now seemed to be taking place. I felt heard. I felt a glimmer of understanding taking place within my creation and a stirring of what previously had felt unshifting and intractable. "I see you, " I continued, "And even though it is not comfortable for me I take ownership. I gave birth to you and it is for me to decide what happens to you next. I can no longer deny that you are affecting my life and having an influence. It seems that wherever I look now, there you are. You aren't going away so I acknowledge you fully. Looking at you causes me to acknowledge my own shortcomings; my own misguided decisions, but it does not make me inherently bad or wrong. I was blinded by a possibility and perhaps, if anything, I was acting out of innocence."
I sat now, somehow stiller, and as solidly as the form before me, as if I was matching it's energy, and reflected. Somehow, in gazing upon it in this ungaurded light it did not seem so ominous or challenging. "All of creation wants to be seen however lowly or dense," I said, "I see that you have needed me to recognise you." Within the make up of the mass before me something seemed to be occurring to the very atoms that constituted it. They were shifting in response to the energy I was transmitting. "I see that my own fixed response to you has kept you in the form that I created," I went on, "I created you and then refused to admit to it and so there was no movement, no exchange of energy, no flow. Well, I see you now and I take responsibility and I also take responsibility for your transformation and I ask you to help me for all things must grow and evolve."
Within the form before me, it was as if particles of light were beginning a small dance. Where there had appeared to be a solid mass, movement was forming a wave-like motion and the wave resonated with a sound. This sound picked up and became finer and more harmonious. I watched and marvelled. "I see beauty, " I whispered, "And I see the wonder and magic of creation and I feel only love." I began to hum the sound and it seemed to emanate from deep within me. It echoed through and around me and sounded even when I paused. What had appeared solid and dark before me now became translucent and ephemeral. "I ask the grace of spirit to fill you," I said, "And I ask for forgiveness. I forgive you for the pain you have caused me, the lack of presence, the diversion from my destiny and I bless you now. I forgive myself for my self deception and lack of responsibility and I bless myself. I fill you with grace and love and I ask that a way be found that brings blessings upon us all."
I placed my hands upon my heart and whispered my appreciation and the words that came back to me were quite simply; "Thank you."
Katheryn Hope 14.02.09
As I sit here in this home, for all its comfort and sense of security, it is not absent of my problems. They came with me. The people who lived here before me did not have these same problems and so the house did not contain them when I arrived. This was a great relief for me and I experienced a lightness when I moved in. Then, as I settled down in my new home, in they moved with me. So, as I sit here now, I am faced with their presence and, perhaps even more obviously, since I had hoped to leave them behind. When I first realised that they had come with me I felt fear. I experienced anxiety and tension and my sleep was disturbed. Then, because I realised that they were not going anywhere, I looked at them head on.
"I had hoped some magic wand would remove you. I'd hoped someone or something else would take you on," I said, "I didn't want to take responsibility for you. It felt too painful, too huge, too overwhelming on top of everything else." I sat down and looked and there they sat stolid and immoveable gazing back at me implacably. "I had hoped," I continued, "That life would see that you were a mistake; that you happened because I wasn't thinking ahead as a kind of by-product of my actions and thoughts at the time. I thought life would realise that you weren't intended and because you weren't intended life would remove you for me. I hoped that if I avoided you, looked elsewhere, distracted myself and carried on regardless, you'd disappear." They did not respond.
"Now I look at you it is not so easy to admit that in all my wisdom I still managed to create this situation." I continued, and this came as a deep realisation for me. For here, present in my home, I became aware that I, personally, had created these problems and issues. They were not the fault of anyone else. They were mine. This was my creation in my life. It was as real as the walls that surrounded me.
I looked with a new perspective upon my creation and it looked back. Somehow, in this exchange, arose a new sense of respect. "I see that you aren't going anywhere." I said, "And, in fact, my avoidance of you has only made you bigger." I realised that in trying to pretend it did not exist only caused it to grow and take root in it's endeavour to be acknowledged. "I acknowledge you, " I said softly, "And I take responsibility."
Somewhere, in the solid form of what felt like my burden before me, flickered a movement. "I am deeply grateful," I continued, "Deeply grateful for everything you've allowed me to accomplish. I appreciate everything you have given me and my family. I see how you have benefited me and I thank you. I see how avoiding you does not allow me to grow or move on and that acknowledging your existence, however painful that is, is the truth."
I watched as the block that sat before me so impenetrably seemed to be looking back at me and the attention was creating a new energy between us. "I don't find you easy," I spoke gently, "I need to tell you that I have felt stuck. I only avoided you because I didn't know any other way. I suppose I hoped that in denying you, you'd just go away and everything would be O.K. I am sorry. I realise that this was just being naive and deceiving myself."
Some exchange now seemed to be taking place. I felt heard. I felt a glimmer of understanding taking place within my creation and a stirring of what previously had felt unshifting and intractable. "I see you, " I continued, "And even though it is not comfortable for me I take ownership. I gave birth to you and it is for me to decide what happens to you next. I can no longer deny that you are affecting my life and having an influence. It seems that wherever I look now, there you are. You aren't going away so I acknowledge you fully. Looking at you causes me to acknowledge my own shortcomings; my own misguided decisions, but it does not make me inherently bad or wrong. I was blinded by a possibility and perhaps, if anything, I was acting out of innocence."
I sat now, somehow stiller, and as solidly as the form before me, as if I was matching it's energy, and reflected. Somehow, in gazing upon it in this ungaurded light it did not seem so ominous or challenging. "All of creation wants to be seen however lowly or dense," I said, "I see that you have needed me to recognise you." Within the make up of the mass before me something seemed to be occurring to the very atoms that constituted it. They were shifting in response to the energy I was transmitting. "I see that my own fixed response to you has kept you in the form that I created," I went on, "I created you and then refused to admit to it and so there was no movement, no exchange of energy, no flow. Well, I see you now and I take responsibility and I also take responsibility for your transformation and I ask you to help me for all things must grow and evolve."
Within the form before me, it was as if particles of light were beginning a small dance. Where there had appeared to be a solid mass, movement was forming a wave-like motion and the wave resonated with a sound. This sound picked up and became finer and more harmonious. I watched and marvelled. "I see beauty, " I whispered, "And I see the wonder and magic of creation and I feel only love." I began to hum the sound and it seemed to emanate from deep within me. It echoed through and around me and sounded even when I paused. What had appeared solid and dark before me now became translucent and ephemeral. "I ask the grace of spirit to fill you," I said, "And I ask for forgiveness. I forgive you for the pain you have caused me, the lack of presence, the diversion from my destiny and I bless you now. I forgive myself for my self deception and lack of responsibility and I bless myself. I fill you with grace and love and I ask that a way be found that brings blessings upon us all."
I placed my hands upon my heart and whispered my appreciation and the words that came back to me were quite simply; "Thank you."
Katheryn Hope 14.02.09
Monday, 2 February 2009
The White Deer
The white deer moved like moonlight through the distant trees; a glimmering light that seemed hardly real. Her magic was unmistakeable even from so far and when she turned and looked, her eyes spoke of other worlds and other times beyond the world of man. She seemed both entranced and entrancing and called to some deeper place, little explored, within our psyche.
“You may see me,” she seemed to whisper on the breeze, “but you can not touch.” And, as she paused and caught our view, she challenged us to follow and run, wild and free, unfettered by human trappings, naked of expectation, merely following a pure unknown drive to Be.
There, just there, was a pause that could have lasted an eternity. A holding of breath, a waiting, as you heard the call. And, across the damp dew-filled distance, your eyes locked hers just for one moment and you nearly went. Nearly. And then she was gone.
Katheryn Hope
October 2008
Following the Myth and Story Telling weekend with Martin Shaw
“You may see me,” she seemed to whisper on the breeze, “but you can not touch.” And, as she paused and caught our view, she challenged us to follow and run, wild and free, unfettered by human trappings, naked of expectation, merely following a pure unknown drive to Be.
There, just there, was a pause that could have lasted an eternity. A holding of breath, a waiting, as you heard the call. And, across the damp dew-filled distance, your eyes locked hers just for one moment and you nearly went. Nearly. And then she was gone.
Katheryn Hope
October 2008
Following the Myth and Story Telling weekend with Martin Shaw
I came to you in the Night my Love
I came to you in the night my love
And traced the milk white of your skin
With the gentlest touch.
I came to you in the night my love
And watched the heave of your breathing
And the curve of your eyelid
As it kissed your sleeping eyes
Jewels that seek night dreams
Distant from me now.
I came to you in the night my love
And whispered in the crevice of your ear
Of your inlaid beauty.
I came to you in the night my love
And sought your presence as Souls do
Who are enraptured and entranced
Whose flame is quietly dimmed
When apart from its source
As moths are from light.
I came to you in the night my love
And enfolded in your quintessence
Journeyed on your sigh.
I came to you in the night my love
And dreamed a different dream with you
Abstracted by your soft presence
My heart became boundless
And knew you infinitely
To the core of each cell.
I came to you….
Katheryn Eliane Hope 14.08.07
And traced the milk white of your skin
With the gentlest touch.
I came to you in the night my love
And watched the heave of your breathing
And the curve of your eyelid
As it kissed your sleeping eyes
Jewels that seek night dreams
Distant from me now.
I came to you in the night my love
And whispered in the crevice of your ear
Of your inlaid beauty.
I came to you in the night my love
And sought your presence as Souls do
Who are enraptured and entranced
Whose flame is quietly dimmed
When apart from its source
As moths are from light.
I came to you in the night my love
And enfolded in your quintessence
Journeyed on your sigh.
I came to you in the night my love
And dreamed a different dream with you
Abstracted by your soft presence
My heart became boundless
And knew you infinitely
To the core of each cell.
I came to you….
Katheryn Eliane Hope 14.08.07
There beyond the Velvet Darkness
There beyond the velvet darkness
Of a wind swept night,
Stars prick the sky
With white bright points of light
And speak to me of other worlds
And other times
When still
My thoughts
Would be flown
Upwards
To those dizzy heights
And my heart would
Skip a beat
In strange memory
Of other times
When I lay and looked aloft
From desert sands
Or wild stretches of blank snow
Or hot in my sultry bed
Or in a garden
Kissed with sweet scent
And by a lazy wide river
Sipping sweet wine
With you.
And a deep unknown sadness
Breathes a sigh in me.
For a time I could still
Touch your face
And see the love in your star filled eyes.
And my bones
Still long for you now
Still yearn your breath upon my neck
A whisper coaxing in my ear
Still know
The stretch of blanket sky
Where seven stars paint a row
Above our upturned faces
And cast a gentle pale glow
Upon our naked bodies.
And as I turn my gaze
From this night sky
I ask
“Where are you now, My Love?”
Katheryn E. Hope 26/12/03
Of a wind swept night,
Stars prick the sky
With white bright points of light
And speak to me of other worlds
And other times
When still
My thoughts
Would be flown
Upwards
To those dizzy heights
And my heart would
Skip a beat
In strange memory
Of other times
When I lay and looked aloft
From desert sands
Or wild stretches of blank snow
Or hot in my sultry bed
Or in a garden
Kissed with sweet scent
And by a lazy wide river
Sipping sweet wine
With you.
And a deep unknown sadness
Breathes a sigh in me.
For a time I could still
Touch your face
And see the love in your star filled eyes.
And my bones
Still long for you now
Still yearn your breath upon my neck
A whisper coaxing in my ear
Still know
The stretch of blanket sky
Where seven stars paint a row
Above our upturned faces
And cast a gentle pale glow
Upon our naked bodies.
And as I turn my gaze
From this night sky
I ask
“Where are you now, My Love?”
Katheryn E. Hope 26/12/03
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Welcome
Welcome to my blog. This is a space I want to use for expression, creativity, poetry, myth and story to be a reminder of all that is beautiful and magical in this world. It is a reflection of what can be when we take a moment just to be..just to allow...just to pause and feel the silence and discover what it contains. I have a desire to bring magic into this world and to share and extend it, not to capture it, but to call it back from our dreams, from our sub-conscious, from myth and story, and from the realms we do not normally inhabit and make it once more a part of our world.
